Welcome Junior Class of Will the Craziness Ever End!
During These Years
There is no doubt that for most families, the teen years present a challenge for both parents and children.
Middle School is not a fond memory for many who attend. It is often fraught with scary body changes, bullying by peers and a new surge for independence. This leads to passive-aggressive behavior (“I’ll do it in a minute”), self-consciousness (“What are you staring at?”), self-doubt (“I’m not good at anything.”), overconfidence (“Well, I thought I could do that.”), and of course moodiness (“Leave me alone.”).
High School is usually better for most. It is a time to really begin defining one’s self and realistically contemplating the future. Skill development is accelerated to prepare for college or job training programs. Talents are perfected. Social skills are honed and relationships take on more of a serious nature. Peer pressure is at its max and in today’s teen society there are more tempting sidetracks than ever. Peer pressure is its most prevalent and, now more than ever, temptation is rampant.
During adolescence, kids need their parents more than ever. Research shows that a positive family environment, including fun family activities, open parent-child communication and the encouragement to participate in positive extracurricular and community activities, teens are able to navigate these years with relative ease.
Your child is changing so fast—in body, mind, and emotions—that you hardly know her anymore. One day she’s as responsible and cooperative as an adult; the next day she’s more like a six-year-old. Planning beyond today’s baseball game or slumber party is hard. One minute she’s sunny and enthusiastic. The next she’s gloomy and silent. Keep cool. These children are going through a process; they’re becoming more self-sufficient. It’s Independence Day!
During These Years
There is no doubt that for most families, the teen years present a challenge for both parents and children.
Middle School is not a fond memory for many who attend. It is often fraught with scary body changes, bullying by peers and a new surge for independence. This leads to passive-aggressive behavior (“I’ll do it in a minute”), self-consciousness (“What are you staring at?”), self-doubt (“I’m not good at anything.”), overconfidence (“Well, I thought I could do that.”), and of course moodiness (“Leave me alone.”).
High School is usually better for most. It is a time to really begin defining one’s self and realistically contemplating the future. Skill development is accelerated to prepare for college or job training programs. Talents are perfected. Social skills are honed and relationships take on more of a serious nature. Peer pressure is at its max and in today’s teen society there are more tempting sidetracks than ever. Peer pressure is its most prevalent and, now more than ever, temptation is rampant.
During adolescence, kids need their parents more than ever. Research shows that a positive family environment, including fun family activities, open parent-child communication and the encouragement to participate in positive extracurricular and community activities, teens are able to navigate these years with relative ease.
Your child is changing so fast—in body, mind, and emotions—that you hardly know her anymore. One day she’s as responsible and cooperative as an adult; the next day she’s more like a six-year-old. Planning beyond today’s baseball game or slumber party is hard. One minute she’s sunny and enthusiastic. The next she’s gloomy and silent. Keep cool. These children are going through a process; they’re becoming more self-sufficient. It’s Independence Day!
Junior: Ages and Stages
Physical Growth
- Slow growth in height but rapid weight gain. May become obese/heavy during this time if not active.
- Posture more similar to an adult’s.
- May start puberty. Body lines in girls soften and round out.
- Rest of their adult teeth come in.
Mental/Emotional Growth
- May do work on own around home (chores) and neighborhood.
- Meets own needs or those of other children left briefly in his/her care.
- Cooks, sews, repairs things, cares for pets, and does other “adult” tasks after learning them.
- Washes and dries own hair but may need reminding.
- Starts to do more homework without help from parents.
- Uses phone and computer more often.
- Read more for pleasure and to learn (magazines, books, and websites).
- Knows more than what is right and wrong. Can explain the morals and values that make something right or wrong.
Social Growth
- Likes family. Family has more meaning.
- Likes mother and wants to please her.
- More comfort with showing affection (hugs) to non-family.
- Adores and looks up to father. (Enjoy it while it lasts!)
- Likes friends and talks about them all the time.
- More “choosy” with friends.
- Starts to like the opposite sex.
- Is more polite to others, shrewd, and clever.
- Writes short letters and emails to friends and family.
Tips to Help Your Child Grow
- Be ready for a lot of new behavior ahead of the teen years. Friends become more important. Your child might talk back to you more often and test you in other ways. He/she will try to become more independent, refusing to take part in family events, for example. He/she may be more moody and take new, dangerous risks.
- Role model morals, values, ethics, and behavior. Your child watches you more closely than ever.
- Help your child’s self-esteem by praising him/her and showing you love him/her.
- Show and tell your child how important school is. Go to parent-teacher meetings and other school events. Learn about school projects and help with homework because there is more of it and it’s harder.
- Be fair with what you expect from your child. Challenge your child to set high, but fair, goals.
- Promote safe, physical activity and set limits on watching TV and computer use.
- Share, as a family.
- Know your child’s friends and their families.
- Set aside time just to talk with your child.
- Discuss and show the value and meaning of money in family and culture. Discuss an allowance, chores, savings, gift giving, charity, etc.
- Teach your child how to manage anger and resolve conflicts without physical or emotional violence.
Physical Growth
- Lots of growth in weight and height. Gain in height is rapid for the first two years and then slows down.
- Likely to get acne.
- Girls are ahead of boys in growth by about two years.
- Puberty starts early for some and later for others. It might not start until 15 or 16.
- Boys have “wet dreams.”
- Better coordinated, but boys may appear awkward at times. (Look like they need to “grow into their body.”)
- Struggles to master new physical skills.
Mental/Emotional Growth
- Starts to think about culture, politics, religion, death, and other life issues.
- Tries out different roles, and explores “who they are.”
- Becomes more private with being naked (girls in front of dad and boys in front of Mom).
- Better able to do homework without help from parents. May rely more on peers for help with homework.
- Peers’ views of how looks affect the view of him/herself (body image).
- Like watching TV, listening to music, talking on the phone/internet, sports, and group activities.
- Anxious about how they look and their changing body. May be very concerned about being small.
- Anxious about their place in the world.
Social Growth
- Compares being normal with peers of same sex.
- Creates close friendships with members of the same sex.
- Uses humor to criticize family and friends.
- Struggles with being part of a group (dress and ways of talking) while being themselves.
- Can still be very selfish.
- Boys often discuss sports, sports figures, and video games with each other.
- Girls often discuss boys, clothes, and makeup with each other.
Tips to Help Your Child Grow
- Be ready for teen behavior. Friends become more important. Your child might talk back to you more often and test you in other ways. He/she will try to be more independent, such as refusing to take part in family events. He/she may be more moody and take new, dangerous risks.
- Decide with your child when he/she can do things on his/her own, including staying at home alone.
- Be fair with what you expect from your child. Give your child more independence and responsibility as he/she proves they can handle and earn it.
- Set clear limits, with discipline and punishments for breaking rules. Use humor to get your point across.
- Show and tell your child how important school is. Go to parent-teacher meetings and school events. Help with their homework because there is more of it and it’s harder. Suggest that peers help with homework (study groups).
- Help your child’s self-esteem by praising him/her often and showing you love them. Don’t criticize a lot, nag, or make fun of your child.
- Set aside time just to talk and do other things with your child, even if he/she doesn’t ask for it.
- Respect your child’s need for privacy, both physically and emotionally.
- Tell your child what you expect with regard to drug and alcohol use and dating now and in the future.
- Teach your child how to manage anger and resolve conflicts without physical or emotional violence.
- Closely watch TV viewing habits. Your child might start to like adult programs, so be careful. A lot of “teen” shows have adult themes.