Welcome Sophomore Class of Aliens in My House
During These Years
Raising school-age children can be awesome. Watching them try new activities, cheering them on at athletic events, and applauding their accomplishments at recitals are some of the highlights for most parents. However, achieving success is often preceded with frustration and sometimes learning to accept one’s weaknesses, as well as celebrating and building on strengths. When properly equipped, parents can be excellent coaches for their child, no matter what the endeavor.
While toddlers and preschoolers need constant supervision, school-age children become gradually ready for more independence. However, learning to make good choices and exercise self-discipline does not come easily for many. Parents need to impart a moral code that the child gradually internalizes. As children struggle with these important tasks, parents must be able to provide praise and encouragement for achievements. But, parents must also allow them to experience the natural consequences of their behavior, or provide logical consequences to help them learn from their mistakes.
Children ages nine to eleven are like the socks they buy, with a great range of stretch. Some are still “little kids” and others are quite mature. Some are already entering puberty, with body, emotions, and attitude changes during this stage. Parents need to take these changes into account when they are choosing child care for this age group. These children begin to think logically and like to work on real tasks, such as mowing lawns or baking. They have a lot of natural curiosity about living things and enjoy having pets.
As children enter adolescence, they want their independence. Yet they still want to be children and need your guidance. As your child grows, it’s easier to leave them at home for longer periods of time and also ask him to care for younger children. Trust your instincts and watch your child to make sure you are not placing too much responsibility on them at one time, or too early. Talk to them. Keep the door open. Make sure they’re comfortable in their new independent role while still being able to finish their school work or other projects.
Your Child
What I’m Like | What I Need
What I’m Like: Affectionate and excited over school, I go eagerly most of the time. I am self-centered and can be quite demanding. I think of myself as a big kid now. I can be impatient, wanting my demands to be met NOW. Yet, I may take forever to do ordinary things. I like to be with older children more than with younger ones. I often have one close friend, and sometimes we will exclude a third child.
What I Need: This might be my first year in real school. Although it’s fun, it’s also scary. I need you to provide a safe place for me. Routines and consistency are important. Don’t accept my behavior one day and correct me for the same behavior tomorrow. Set up and explain rules about daily routines like playtime and bedtime. I need your praise for what I am doing well. Since I may go to before- and after-school care, help me get organized the night before. Make sure I have everything ready for school.
What I’m Like: I am often more quiet and sensitive to others than I was at six. Sometimes I can be mean to others my age and younger. I may hurt their feelings, but I really don’t mean to. I tend to be more polite and agreeable to adult suggestions. By now I am conscious of my schoolwork and am beginning to compare my work and myself with others. I want my schoolwork to look “right.” If I make mistakes, I can easily become frustrated.
What I Need: I need to tell you about my experiences, and I need the attention of other adult listeners. I really want you to listen to me and understand my feelings. Please don’t put me down or tell me I can’t do it—help me to learn in a positive way. Please check my homework and reading assignments. Let me go over to my friends’ house and play when possible. I still need hugs, kisses, and a bedtime story.
What I’m Like: My curiosity and eagerness to explore new things continues to grow. Friends are more important. I enjoy playing and being with peers. Recess may be my favorite “subject” in school. I may follow you around the house just to find out how you feel and think, especially about me. I am also beginning to be aware of adults as individuals and am curious about what they do at work. Around the house or at child care, I can be quite helpful.
What I Need: My concept of an independent self is developing. I assert my individuality, and there are bound to be conflicts. I am expected to learn and read and to get along with others. I need support in my efforts so that I will have a desire for achievement. Your expectations will have a big impact on me. If I am not doing well in school, explain to me that everyone learns at a different pace and that tiny improvements make a difference. Tell me that the most important thing is to do my best. You can ask my teachers for ways to help me at home. Problems in reading and writing should be handled now to avoid more trouble later. And busy eight-year-olds are usually hungry!
What I’m Like: I have lots of energy, and physical activities are important to me. I like to take part in sports and group activities. I like clothes, music, and my friends. I’m invited to sleepovers and to friends’ houses often. I want my hair cut a certain way. I’m not as sure about school as I am about my social life. Those of us who are girls are often taller and heavier than the boys. Some girls may be beginning to show signs of puberty, and we may be self-conscious about that. I feel powerful and independent, as though I know what to do and how to do it. I can think for myself and want to be independent. I may be eager to become an adult.
What I Need: I need you to keep communication lines open by setting rules and giving reasons for them, by being a good listener, and by planning ahead for changes in schedule. Remember, I am still a child so don’t expect me to act like an adult. Know that I like to be an active member of my household, to help plan activities, and to be a part of the decision-making. Once I am eleven or older, I may be ready to take care of myself from time to time rather than go to child care. I still need adult help and encouragement in doing my homework.
During These Years
Raising school-age children can be awesome. Watching them try new activities, cheering them on at athletic events, and applauding their accomplishments at recitals are some of the highlights for most parents. However, achieving success is often preceded with frustration and sometimes learning to accept one’s weaknesses, as well as celebrating and building on strengths. When properly equipped, parents can be excellent coaches for their child, no matter what the endeavor.
While toddlers and preschoolers need constant supervision, school-age children become gradually ready for more independence. However, learning to make good choices and exercise self-discipline does not come easily for many. Parents need to impart a moral code that the child gradually internalizes. As children struggle with these important tasks, parents must be able to provide praise and encouragement for achievements. But, parents must also allow them to experience the natural consequences of their behavior, or provide logical consequences to help them learn from their mistakes.
Children ages nine to eleven are like the socks they buy, with a great range of stretch. Some are still “little kids” and others are quite mature. Some are already entering puberty, with body, emotions, and attitude changes during this stage. Parents need to take these changes into account when they are choosing child care for this age group. These children begin to think logically and like to work on real tasks, such as mowing lawns or baking. They have a lot of natural curiosity about living things and enjoy having pets.
As children enter adolescence, they want their independence. Yet they still want to be children and need your guidance. As your child grows, it’s easier to leave them at home for longer periods of time and also ask him to care for younger children. Trust your instincts and watch your child to make sure you are not placing too much responsibility on them at one time, or too early. Talk to them. Keep the door open. Make sure they’re comfortable in their new independent role while still being able to finish their school work or other projects.
Sophomore: Ages and Stages
Physical Growth
- Grows 2-3 inches but gains as little as 2-4 pounds a year. Children grow and gain weight at very different rates.
- May start to get adult teeth.
- Clearly right or left handed.
- Skips and hops on one foot and then the other.
- Catches and throws a ball.
- Jumps rope and skates.
- Learn to tie shoes.
Mental/Emotional Growth
- Speaks about 2500 words.
- Uses complete sentences with many words.
- Learn to name, coins, colors, days of week, months.
- Asks the meaning of words.
- Asks thoughtful questions.
- Takes basic care of self (dress, brush teeth.)
- Writes a few letters, numbers, and words.
- Helps with simple chores.
Social Growth
- More settled and focused when with others.
- More independent and trustworthy.
- Relies on others (parents) to control their world.
- Likes rules and tries to play by them, but may cheat to avoid losing.
- Begins to notice the outside world and where/how they belong.
- Enjoys doing things with parent or same sex.
Tips to Help Your Child Grow
- Praise your child for cooperation and learning new skills and knowledge.
- Ask your child to talk with you about his/her world (school and friends). Prime the pump by telling him/her a little about yours.
- Tell your child to show feelings. This is very important with boys.
- Read to and with your child.
- Spend alone time with your child doing something you both enjoy. This is really important if you have other children.
- Put your child in new settings and places while allowing him/her to take safe risks. Take on something new for both of you.
- Create times for your child to play and hang out with other children.
- Help your child learn to get along with peers. Role model how to get along with others.
- Promote safe, physical activity while keeping a limit on watching TV and computer use.
- Give chores that are right for your child’s age. Don’t pay them (an allowance) for doing chores.
- Show how to use a computer.
- Expect your child to follow rules, such as those for bedtime, TV, computer, and chores.
- Teach your child the difference between right and wrong, to respect others and people in charge, and how to manage anger.
Physical Growth
- Grows about 2 inches and gains about 6 pounds a year.
- Always on the go. Jumps, chases, and skips.
- Greater smoothness and speed in motor abilities.
- Movement fluid, often graceful and poised.
- Eyes and hands are well coordinated.
Mental/Emotional Growth
- Can use common tools such as a hammer, blender, egg beater, and toaster as long as parents watch them. Don’t allow them to use tools alone.
- Helps with household tasks.
- Looks after all of their own needs at the table.
- Shows some choice in buying things.
- Better reader. Enjoys magazines with lots of pictures.
- Enjoys school.
- Likely to overdo things. Hard to quiet down after recess.
- Dresses themselves on their own and often with the same style of clothing.
- Says what is alike and different between two things from their memory.
- Repeats days of the weeks and months in order.
- Counts backwards from 20.
- Makes change out of a quarter.
- Likes rewards.
- Reads classic books and enjoys comics.
- Harder on self.
- Knows right from wrong. Starts to understand fairness.
- More aware of time. Gets to school on time.
- Afraid of failing a grade. Ashamed of bad grades, mistakes.
Social Growth
- Easy to get along with at home and better behaved.
- Often shows off.
- Relates more easily to others.
- Interested in boy-girl relationships but will not admit it.
- Enjoys competition and playing games.
Tips to Help Your Child Grow
- Role model morals, values, ethics, and behavior.
- Help with your child’s self-esteem by honoring his/her efforts and showing you love him/her.
- Show and tell your child how important school is. Go to parent-teacher meetings and other school events. Learn about school projects and help with homework because there is more of it and it’s harder.
- Be fair with what you expect from your child. Challenge your child to set high, but fair goals.
- Promote a sense of responsibility for their actions.
- Role model affection and respect for family.
- Spend alone time with your child. This is very important if you have other children.
- Promote safe, physical activity and set a limit on watching TV and computer use.
- Share meals as a family. Ask your child to help prepare meals.
- Know your child’s friends and their families.
- Handle anger well in the family.
- Set aside special time just to talk with your child.
- Teach your child how to manage anger and resolve conflicts without physical or emotional violence.
Physical Growth
- Slow growth in height but rapid weight gain. May become obese/heavy during this time if not active.
- Posture more similar to an adult’s.
- May start puberty. Body lines in girls soften and round out.
- Rest of their adult teeth come in.
Mental/Emotional Growth
- May do work on own around home (chores) and neighborhood.
- Meets own needs or those of other children left briefly in his/her care.
- Cooks, sews, repairs things, cares for pets, and does other “adult” tasks when they learn them.
- Washes and dries their own hair, but may need reminding.
- Starts to do more homework without help from parents.
- Uses phone and computer more often.
- Read more for pleasure and to learn (magazines, books, and websites).
- Knows more than what is right and wrong. Can explain the morals and values that make something right or wrong.
Social Growth
- Likes family. Family has more meaning.
- Likes mother and wants to please her.
- More comfort with showing affection (hugs) to non-family.
- Adores and looks up to their father. (Enjoy it while it lasts!)
- Likes friends and talks about them all the time.
- More “choosy” with friends.
- Starts to like the opposite sex.
- Is more polite to others, shrewd, and clever.
- Writes short letters and emails to friends and family.
Tips to Help Your Child Grow
- Be ready for a lot of new behavior ahead of the teen years. Friends become more important. Your child might talk back to you more often and test you in other ways. He/she will try to become more independent, such as refusing to take part in family events. He/she may be more moody and take new, dangerous risks.
- Role model morals, values, ethics, and behavior. Your child watches you more closely than ever.
- Help your child’s self-esteem by praising him/her and showing you love him/her.
- Show and tell your child how important school is. Go to parent-teacher meetings and other school events. Learn about school projects and help with homework because there is more of it and it’s harder.
- Be fair with what you expect from your child. Challenge your child to set high, but fair goals.
- Promote safe, physical activity and set limits on watching TV and computer use.
- Share meals as a family.
- Know your child’s friends and their families.
- Set aside time just to talk with your child.
- Discuss and show the value and meaning of money in family and culture. Discuss an allowance, chores, savings, gift giving, charity, etc.
- Teach your child how to manage anger and resolve conflicts without physical or emotional violence.