Succeeding as a Divorced Father

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Succeeding as a Divorced Father

While every situation is unique, there are some common threads to succeeding as a divorced father.

There is maybe no more difficult challenge to a father than finding himself a divorced dad and no longer living with the kids. It is as devastating an experience as I know of.

Being a successful divorced dad - that is maintaining a good relationship with the children despite being divorced from their mother - is an extra burden for dads to bear. While each divorce situation is unique and different, the more a dad knows about what to expect, the better he can react. Dads who manage the situation effectively share some common threads in their approach and attitude.

1. The Effects of Divorce on Children and How to Cope

Sometimes after a particularly painful divorce (is there any other kind?) a dad may not really see and understand the impact of that event on the kids. It can be truly devastating to a child to go through a divorce and try to cope as their family life turns upside down. Find out from the experts what to expect as your children adjust to this new and strange reality in their life.

2. Keep Close to Home After Divorce

Having a quality relationship with the kids after a divorce requires you to spend the time needed. And that requires you to stay close to home. Sometimes jobs or other circumstances can making staying close to the kids more difficult, but the sacrifice to stay close is worth in the stability and connection that the children need. Learn the hows and whys of staying in the proximity of your ex and the children.

3. What You Need to Know About Child Support

If you are the non-custodial parent after a divorce, you are likely on the hook for child support. Child support rules are often quite difficult and the risks of not keeping up can have big financial and other consequences. And often dads have a hard time making these payments, particularly when their employment or others circumstances change. Find out what a dad needs to know about child support - how it is calculated, enforced and managed.

4. Making Joint Custody Work

If you are fortunate enough to have been granted joint custody of the kids with your ex, you need to know the keys to manage this important relationship. Even when mom and dad stay civil and friendly after the divorce, the details of joint custody can drive wedges and create difficulties. Find out how other dads have made this joint custody situation a positive for all concerned.

5. Staying Connected with the Kids from Long Distance

When you have to live away from the kids - maybe a military or employment assignment - relationships can be strained. Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder; sometimes it can breed bad feelings. Learn ways to keep close even when separated by the miles.

6. Making the Most of Visitation

When you do have the kids for the weekend or overnight, what should you do to maximize the positive impact of that experience? Can you have a good experience without either being a "Disneyland Dad" or creating bigger problems for the kids when they return to Mom? This article helps you think about and plan ahead for your visitation times.

7. Dating for Divorced Dads

For even the bitterest divorced dad, there may come a time when he will want to get back into the dating scene. It can be scary for the divorced dad, and even more unsettling for the kids - who sometimes are secretly hoping Mom and Dad will get back together. Find out how to successfully re-enter the dating arena, and how to help the children adjust to this new stage of your life.

8. What Every Father Needs to Know About Parenting Plans

Having a good parenting plan is essential for divorced fathers that are sharing custody with their children's mother. Parenting plans help define the responsibility and relationship and create an excellent framework that can avoid conflicts later on. Learn what need to be in a parenting plan and what fathers need to know before agreeing to a parenting plan.

By Wayne Parker, Fatherhood Expert

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